


Two for the price of one

by crispyCh0colate



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Church AU, Multi, bill poses as choir boy, dipper is a filthy sinner, priest in training!Dipper, reverse shenanigans, will get's crucified
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-03 02:04:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4082536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispyCh0colate/pseuds/crispyCh0colate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young priest Dipper Pines makes questionable life choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two for the price of one

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blueiaf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueiaf/gifts).



> This is a birthday present for my friend ibisblue on tumblr <33 She wanted some church AU and reverse!Bill and I delivered :P  
> (Chruch AU also inspired by tumblr user iceb0x's AU.)

The church was dark with only the dim moonlight shining through the coloured glass windows, drenching the room in an eerie light. Usually Dipper Pines wouldn't be in the church at this hour of the night, but he was having a hard time falling asleep and had wandered aimlessly until he found himself standing in front of the altar. The young priest in training ran a hand through his hair and sighed softly.

"Why'd you bring me here, Lord?" He asked, exhausted, as he looked up at the cross with the figurine of Jesus nailed to it. He didn't usually speak with god, or Jesus, but sometimes he just felt like talking, even if no one was here. He waited for a few moments and then snorted, deciding that he should go back to bed because either Stanford or Mabel would be dragging him out of bed way too early for his liking.

But as soon as he had turned his back to the altar he heard a quiet laughter ring through the entire church. He froze in place, now wide awake. He knew that voice too well. It was the demon, Bill Cipher, that had somehow infiltrated their ranks as a choir boy just to get on Dipper's nerves. At least that what it felt like.

The priest and exorcist-in-training was pretty sure Bill had a higher motive than just tormenting him day in day out.

"Lord. I like it. You should always call me that, Pine Tree."

Dipper jumped with a small shriek as Bill's voice whispered directly into his ear and he could feel the demon's breath against his skin.

When Dipper whipped around to glare at Bill he could barely make him out. He could just see the devil's silhouette and his one glowing eye. THough he could almost sense the shit eating grin on the guy's face.

"Wasn't talking to you, hellspawn." Dipper snarled, but Bill just chuckled and took a step forward, resting his hands on Dipper's shoulder and bringing his face way too close for comfort.

The young man could feel his face heat up and he wrung his hands, debating over whether or not to push Bill away.

Truth be told, the priest wasn't as faithful as one might assume and he was pretty sure he was already sinning because he even dared to think that the demon was attractive. A little bit too attractive.

Bill wasn't much bigger than Dipper and his hair was bright blonde with a few black strands in his bangs that covered his right eye. He was also still wearing the clothes of the choir boys and that made Dipper question himself even more.

"Aw so mean again. And I even brought you a present." Bill hummed and Dipper tensed when the demon ran one of his fingers over the man's right cheek. He was quick to swat it away.

"Oh yeah, right. A gift. If it's anything like the last gift I don't want it." Dipper made a face and pried the demon's hands off his shoulders.

"No, it's not a dead animal this time! Although I must say, you're quite rude, rejecting that. It was a very special murder, just for you." Bill said and it sounded like he was pouting.

"But, yeah, I got something much better. Behold!" He grabbed Dipper's wrist so he couldn't walk away then proceeded to raise a hand and lit up the church with his blue fire, burning against the stone walls. This used to freak the priest out, but he quickly came to understand that the fire wasn't actually burning anything.

"Now what?" He asked almost sounding bored and Bill rolled his eye before pointing up at the cross.

"Look!" Bill hummed and sounded very pleased with himself.

"I swear to god, if you defaced Jesus I will exorcise yo- Oh my God!" Dipper screamed when he saw that the man hanging there wasn’t, in fact, Jesus. It was a human, or at least Dipper thought it was, nailed to the cross by the hands and feet, face contorted in pain. He seemed to still be alive though.

"Why would you do this?" Dipper screeched at Bill and hurried to the altar to climb on top, something he would have to repent for later, to see if the guy was still alive. If he was, Dipper would need a ladder to lower the cross to the ground.

As he got a closer look at the body he could see that this person seemed to be an exact copy of Bill and he stopped, eyes wide.

In that moment the crucified boy opened his eye and, contrary to Bills golden one, it glowed bright blue. Said eye widened when it stared at Dipper and then the man gasped in pain again.

"Get me down! Get me down, please!!" He begged, his voice broken, yet still sounding exactly like Bill's.

"Hah, you wish, you little imposter." Bill hummed as he walked up to the cross with a smug expression. Meanwhile the young priest climbed back down from the altar and stared at Bill.

"Who is this?" He asked, biting the inside of his cheek nervously.

"It’s a copied version of me. He's a demon too, so this won't kill him. But I used special enchanted nails so it really hurts! Aren't I great? I caught you a demon to test your skills on and he even looks exactly like me! He’s also a real whiner so you can take your aggressions out on him without getting burned, kid." Bill chuckled and smirked devilishly.

Dipper trembled and balled his hands to fists. "You really think I want to torture someone I don't even know? I want to exorcise YOU not some imposter I don't even know!" He hissed back and Bill huffed.

"Just get me down! Pleasepleaseplease! I beg you, father! I'm not a bad demon!" The other Bill cried and fixed his eye on Dipper directly, looking absolutely pathetic. The man couldn't stand it.

"Get him down there, Bill! This isn't funny." He faced the golden eyed devil who made a face at him.

"You're no fun." Bill replied and snapped his fingers, making the copy of him fall to the ground, hands and feet still bleeding. He dropped with a loud thud and another pained wail echoed through the empty church, followed by sobbing.

Dipper didn't move at first, but then he walked around the altar and knelt down next to the blue haired Bill. He reached out and rubbed the sobbing demon's back softly. The young priest noticed that he wore the same clothes as Bill and the only difference was that his hair had a blue tint instead of a yellow one.

"Why do you care if he's hurt! He's a demon too!" Bill asked, sounding rather angry as he stormed over to the both of them.

"Yeah, well he doesn't seem to be as much as a dick as you." Dipper insisted and helped the sobbing Bill, who had healed his wounds by now, up but was still sniffling a little.

"You're so stupid, Pine Tree! He's an alternate version of me, why would you even show so much as a little ounce of sympathy to HIM? You hate all kinds of demons." Bill hissed and his voice had that demonic ring to it that always indicated that he was boiling with rage.

But Dipper stood his ground and wrapped an arm around the other Bill who looked pretty intimidated.

"One could almost think you're jealous." Dipper replied and raised an eyebrow at Bill before turning around and walking back to the entrance, gently guiding the duplicate with him. It wasn't like he really cared that deeply for him, but at least he could piss off Bill.

"M-my name is Will by the way, father." The clone demon mumbled and Dipper blinked, looking down at him. He could hear Bill scream and there was a bright blue light, letting Dipper know that the other demon had vanished in a very dramatic fashion with his magical flames. What a sore loser.

\---

Will had been living with the Pines for two weeks now. It had been slightly awkward to explain what had happened. Grunkle Stan was especially suspicious of Will, but as soon as the demon started crying he had given in and grumbled something about all of them going straight to hell.

Mabel on the other hand loved him from the moment she first met him. Will also seemed to like her and Dipper could often see the both of them hanging out in the garden. Will even helped with some of the work.

Dipper admitted that he had kept a close eye on the demon though, in case he started to act suspiciously, but so far he showed no signs of being bad whatsoever. 

He even felt bad when Will caught him staring once and smiled over at him.

All in all, life was pretty uneventful, especially since Bill only rarely showed up. And when he did he was always in a sour mood. Especially when he caught Will lurking around. The shyer demon mostly kept his distance from Bill and Dipper was glad because the golden devil's eyes spoke murder.

It was a nice summer evening and Dipper saw that Will was sitting in the garden near the pond. After a bit of hesitation he walked over to him and sat down.

"Oh, hello Dipper." Will hummed and plucked a small daisy from the grass, turning it in his hand.

"It's a nice evening, why are you out here alone?" Dipper asked and leaned back a little. He found it quite weird to sit out here with a demon who looked so much like the pesky one that always tried to make his life hell. But this one was... surprisingly nice. Dipper might even like him more than he wanted to admit.

"Just thinking about some things." Will replied and then leaned against Dipper's shoulder, making the young priest blush a bit and sit up straighter.

"I was wondering why you're all so nice to me instead of banishing me or exorcising me." The demon continued and Dipper sighed, shrugging a little.

"I guess because you're not really acting very demonic. You're cool." Dipper replied and chuckled a bit when Will looked up, looking really surprised and even appearing to blush a bit.

This was such a perfect moment and, even though Dipper knew he shouldn't, he leaned in to kiss Will.

He immediately pulled back though and let out a startled scream when someone kicked Will right into the pond. When Dipper jumped up to face the culprit he stared into a furious golden eye.

"What the heck, Bill?!" Dipper exclaimed but the demon had already grabbed him by the collar.

"I was going to ask YOU that, Pine Tree!" He snarled in his face. "You did a lot of dumb things, but kissing HIM? Out of all demons you could fall for it's this soft boiled version of me with no purpose of existence!" He growled and nodded to Will who was dragging himself back out of the pond, looking upset, but at least refraining from crying.

"Would you rather I was kissing you?" Dipper asked with a deadpan voice and that startled Bill for long enough that Dipper could pull away from him and help Will up.

"Maybe if you stopped being a pain I would have considered it." Dipper snorted and rolled his eyes. He was going to hell either way and today was one of those days where he didn't really care about being a pure spirit like his sister. (Although Mabel was reading way too many magazines with pretty men and women on the covers to count as a real saint.)

"Yeah, no but that's what I DO." Bill protested and walked back up to them, making Will hide behind Dipper's back.

"I'm a demon and you're a priest and I'm tempting you to sin! That's how it works. You can't just make out with a different demon as if it's nothing." He hissed and for once Dipper was more amused than annoyed.

"Well, maybe you should be a bit nicer to Dipper, maybe then he'd like to be around you." Will chimed in and both of the other boys looked at him.

"Nice? That word's not even in my vocabulary." Bill growled and the young man heaved a sigh.

"Look, just go and torture some innocent souls or whatever you do when you're not making my life a living hell." Dipper said, tired. He took Will's hand and turned to walk back to the house when Bill suddenly grabbed his shoulders again and pulled him into a harsh kiss.

Will gasped and Dipper made a muffled noise of surprise, but didn't pull away. He was even more surprised when Will's arms wrapped around his waist and the other demon pressed himself against the young priest's back, resting his head on Dipper's shoulder.

"He's mine. You failed. back off." The usually shy Will hissed and it was then that Bill pulled away, making a face at Will.

"Oh shut up, I saw him first. You've got nothing on me you pathetic shadow of mine." Bill huffed and rolled his eye.

"Excuse me, but I'm not ok with two demons fighting about me!" Dipper protested but quickly bit his lip when Will pressed a kiss to his neck and Bill grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at the demon.

"It's not like you ever had a choice, let's be real here. Besides, I know exactly that you're only resisting because that makes it more exciting for you. i know all your dirty little secret dreams." He hummed and smirked, licking his lips.

Dipper felt his face heat up again and he tried to hold back a noise of pleasure when Will softly bit him, the duplicate's hands wandering beneath his shirt and running over his chest.

"I didn't take into account that I might have to share." Bill huffed and glared at Will who just smiled innocently back at him.

"I hate both of you." Dipper hissed, but both Bill and Will just chuckled.

"We all know that's a lie, Dip." Will hummed against Dipper's ear.

"Let's take this somewhere more private though." Bill added and before Dipper could protest all three of them teleported into his room.

Dipper figured he would have to shower with holy water for ten hours straight to even start to rid himself of the sin that the three of them collected that night.


End file.
